Before you know it, you’ve said yes to a request that came completely out of the blue.

You’ve picked up your phone and disappeared into it before you even realized what you were doing.

Or you’ve found yourself doing something you had firmly decided you weren’t going to do anymore.

We all know these moments. Before you’ve had a chance to think, you’ve already responded.

That’s when it helps to remember:

Keep your pause button within reach.

Create space between impulse and response

Your pause button gives you the freedom to step out of old, automatic patterns.

It creates a little space between the moment something demands your attention and the moment you decide what to do about it.

And in that small space, something important becomes possible: choice.

You don’t have to respond straight away.
You can decide not to respond yet.
Or you can choose a response that genuinely feels right for you.

A few seconds or minutes can make all the difference.

How do you use your pause button?

For me, it helps to actually picture a pause button. The image itself reminds me that I don’t have to do anything immediately.

When someone catches me off guard with a question, for example, I try not to jump straight into answering it. Instead, I might say:

“You’ve caught me a little off guard with that question.”

Or:

“I’d like to think about that for a moment. I’ll get back to you.”

That gives me time. Time to ask myself: What do I actually want? What feels right for me? And what is realistically possible right now?

Sometimes you need to physically step away

You can also hit pause by literally removing yourself from the situation for a moment.

A quick trip to the bathroom can be surprisingly effective.

Or you can decide it’s time to get a coffee. Step outside for some fresh air. Give yourself a few minutes before returning to whatever is asking for your attention.

It doesn’t really matter where you go.

What matters is that you create some distance from the feeling that you have to say, decide or do something right now.

And for the more experienced pause-button user, there’s another option:

Don’t respond at all.

Not every impulse requires a response.
Not every question needs an immediate answer.
And not everything that demands your attention deserves it.

So, the next time you feel yourself automatically shifting into action mode, ask yourself one simple question:

Do I really need to do something about this right now?

And before you answer…

hit pause.

Photo credit: Montego / Shutterstock.com